October 6, 2017: “The more clearly I see my triggers, what they are, the more murky they become with the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ and ‘what’s right, realistic, and rational… and what isn’t?!’ The only thing that seems to help is unpacking the murkiness, shocking the water into clarity by journaling… and journaling…and journaling… until God reveals. He speaks.
I write furiously, unpacking an overcrowded brain and He gently speaks a word, maybe two, as I write. Those few words are what the whole issue is about, but it took the journey to get there. But the journey is something I won’t forget. The process, recorded as such, is what haunts me and saves me. But in all things I am thankful. He is God and I am not. He is healing and I do not. He is in control and I am not. He is grace and I am grateful.