October 23, 2017

October 23, 2017: “I began seeing a new counselor today: RM. She reminded me of a creativity coach; she inspired me! She gave me permission, the permission I needed to be me, to feel human, to make mistakes knowing that truly, I can’t mess life up; Jesus holds my hand.

These were the same things my former counselor said to me, but in different way. And for whatever reason, known only to God, I absorbed them tonight. I made my first spirit drawing that I have made in my sketchbook in weeks.

While working, drawing, and writing, I thought about my students and their artwork. They are so afraid of making mistakes. I have always told them that there are no mistakes in art, only new pathways. Isn’t it that way in the life of a believer?

Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven. But with the Holy Spirit in us and a relationship with the Trinity flowing through us, nothing can be undone that can’t be done and vice versa. I, in my spirit, am on one pathway with Jesus in our Holy of Holies. But in my life, I make so many wrong turns, following my human mind and emotions; yet, each pathway in my life is exactly where I am supposed to be. God is sovereign and I am redeemed. And no matter how much I “mess up” and make “wrong turns,” in the end they were “clean-ups” and “right turns.” He is working all things together for my good and His glory. His sovereignty, mercy, and grace clean up my biggest spills and He delights in it because that is when I lean in to Him the most, realizing my imperfections in humility… and His perfection in love.

*DISCLAIMER: this is the only piece of artwork that I have changed because I have changed the drawing. Originally, up the side, on the right, it read, “Without Christ, I am worthless, yet to Christ, I am worth everything.” Although I still agree with the second half, I have since worked through issues that have shown me several truths: 1) We are ALL worth EVERYTHING to God, otherwise He would not have sent Christ, His only son, to die for us… with or without Christ, we are not worthless. Being born, made in His image, given life by Him, makes all worth-ful and useful to Him.  2) In light of “1)”, my worth is not defined by my works. Neither is yours.

One thought on “October 23, 2017

  1. I read your post. I am hoping they are public since they are on Facebook. They touch me. Some relatable, some just I feel I needed to hear/read. I enjoy following your journey. I myself am in turmoil with the Lord.. I am forlorn, I am numb, and mostly angry! Thank you for sharing your journey. Suzy

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